


Wish I Were Heather

by Imaginary_Wolf



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: 2020 season sort of, Jealousy, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:34:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26734438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Imaginary_Wolf/pseuds/Imaginary_Wolf
Summary: Alex introduces George and Lando to his new girlfriend and George can't shake the feeling that something is wrong.He's just being a good friend and looking out for Alex. He's not jealous...
Relationships: Alexander Albon/George Russell
Comments: 14
Kudos: 52





	Wish I Were Heather

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, just a couple of things, this takes place in a fictional 2020 season with no pandemic, but I will probably use some races and results from the current season (although probably not in order). Also, I know some of the drivers seem to get to races on private jets and what-not but not in this fic…  
> It’s all fictional of course and Jess isn’t based on anyone in real life.  
> The title is from the song Heather by Conan Gray because I thought the lyrics fit the story quite well.  
> I hope you enjoy it!

Alex is running late for breakfast. George and Lando are sat opposite each other in a booth at the café waiting for him to arrive before they eat. They’ll all be flying off tomorrow ready for the start of the season. The low buzz of conversation and clattering of people eating fills their ears and the smell cooking bacon wafts across the room. George glances up to check the door again.

“Where is he? I’m starving.” George complains, checking his phone.

Lando shrugs. “He’s not usually late,” He comments. His phone is lying on the table and it buzzes and lights up as a message comes through. George hears his phone chime too as the message pops up on their group chat, and he pulls the phone out of his pocket.

_Alex: Sorry running a bit late guys. Almost there. Btw I’ve got someone with me. Be nice._

George frowns slightly and looks up to see Lando who also looks mildly confused.

“Who could he be bringing?” George asks. He supposes that Alex could be bringing Max with him, as they are probably staying at the same hotel before the flights out to Austria tomorrow, but why would he have to tell them to be nice? As far as George knew Lando and Max got along very well. George hadn’t really spoken to him much, but he’d never had an issue with him.

Lando shrugs again and then smirks, “And why does he think we wouldn’t be nice?” He says sarcastically.

George snorts lightly and looks up as the sunlight catches the opening glass door, seeing Alex walking in. Following him is a very pretty brunette girl who George doesn’t recognise. He sees Alex searching around the room for a moment before he catches sight of them and throws them a little wave which makes George feely oddly fond. Then he walks over, the girl trailing slightly behind.

“Who is that?” Lando asks, straightening up in his seat and looking over with interest.

“I have no idea,” George mutters under his breath, wondering who the mystery girl is. They’re only staying in London overnight before flying off to the race, who did Alex know who lived in London?

“Hey guys,” Alex says as he approaches their table, and it’s not his normal voice, George recognises it as nerves.

“Alright?” Lando says, eyes darting between Alex and his mystery friend.

Alex’s eyes are darting between his two friends a little bit awkwardly. _He’s definitely nervous_ , George thinks, although he can’t quite figure out why.

Alex stuffs one hand in the pocket of his jeans and places the other on the girls back, “Guys, this is Jess, I wanted to introduce you.” She looks a little nervous too but has a bright smile on her face. Alex’s eyes meet George’s for a second before they dart away anxiously when he says, “She’s my girlfriend.”

George feels his eyebrows shoot up immediately without his control. He and Alex text each other most days and have met up loads during the break between seasons and this is the first he’s ever heard about this girl, let alone that Alex is dating someone. There is a sinking sensation in his stomach for some reason that takes him by surprise.

“Jess, this is George and Lando,” Alex introduces them, his face flushing a dusky pink.

“Hiya,” Lando says, a wide grin plastered on his face.

George gives a small smile, but it’s all he can manage with a hollow feeling spreading through him. _Why would Alex not tell me about having a girlfriend? Why would he keep something like that from me?_

“It’s really great to finally meet you guys,” Jess says with a huge smile on her face and she tucks her curly hair behind her ears. “Alex has told me so much about you guys,” She’s really very pretty, quite pale with delicate features and petit. Alex towers over her.

George can only focus on one thing she’s said. _Finally? How long have they been going out without Alex even mentioning her?_

George finally finds his voice, but what comes out surprises even him, the words coming out very snide, “Funny, he hasn’t told us anything about you.”

Alex shoots him a sharp look and is about to say something but Jess interrupts him.

“He said you wouldn’t mind me tagging along?” She’s says brightly, but her smile has faltered slightly after the comment and George feels a little stab of guilt. _Why did I say that?_

“Of course not,” Lando says quickly. He jumps up from his seat to slide into the booth next to George so Alex and Jess can sit next to one another. As they settle in a slight awkward silence falls over the group.

Lando breaks the silence, of course, because he’s never been able to deal with not talking, “Do you want me to go and order? We were waiting for you, but George is starving.”

“Oh yeah, that’d be great,” Alex says distractedly. George can feel that Alex is staring at him, but doesn’t make eye contact. He couldn’t get his head around why he had said that to Jess. He was definitely surprised that Alex hadn’t told him but he hadn’t expected his surprise to come out as annoyance like that.

“Cooked breakfast?” Lando asks his two friends and George and Alex nod, “Jess?”

“Oh, um…I’ll come up with you and have a look.”

George watches as Alex lightly brushes his hand across her arm and shoots her a small smile and she slides out of the booth to head up to the counter with Lando.

George is left sitting there with Alex feeling like he has nothing to say. _Why do I feel so weird about this?_ _Why don’t I want to start grilling Alex for details?_ He’s confused why Alex didn’t _tell_ _him_ before now that this girl even exists. They’re supposed to be best mates.

George looks up from where he’s been staring into space to find Alex looking at him strangely, when he catches George’s eye and realises he’s been caught staring he looks away quickly, over to the counter.

“Probably shouldn’t have left her alone with Lando,” Alex mutters worriedly, “He’ll definitely be starting to tell her about the end of season party…”

George knows what he’s referring to, he was there. Alex had been so drunk that he’d gone up to Lewis and ranted at him for a full fifteen minutes about his lost podium in Brazil and then proceeded to throw up on his, definitely very expensive, shoes. He’d been lucky that Lewis had just found it funny and chosen to take it on the chin, the next morning Alex had been mortified. But George doesn’t laugh at the memory, doesn’t say anything. He can’t seem to find his voice again, swallowing hard in discomfort.

Alex looks back at him, eyes flitting over his face, and then he sighs, “Look, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about her sooner. I just knew you guys would start taking the piss and I wanted to see where it went…and…well it’s pretty great actually. There’s no need to speak to her like that though.”

Alex is now smiling over at Jess and George feels sick, but he still doesn’t understand _why_. Alex has had a few short-term girlfriends before and he’s met them and they were _fine_.

“Yeah, sorry,” George says, “I was just surprised you’d never even mentioned anyone called Jess.” He pauses before he has the courage to ask, “Have you been together long?” George is dreading the answer.

Alex rubs his hand on the back of his neck awkwardly and doesn’t meet his eyes, “Couple of months.”

George just stares at him. Alex had kept this from him for _months_. They’d seen each other loads, they’d been best mates for years and he just…didn’t tell him? _Why wouldn’t he at least mention it, even if he had wanted to wait to introduce her?_ George couldn’t understand it.

Lando and Jess break the tension as they slide back down into the booth on either side of the table.

“Lando was just telling me about the end of last season,” Jess says, her voice teasing.

“Why Lando, just why?” Alex asks, shaking his head.

“It’s my favourite story about you, I had to tell her. Drunk Alex is my favourite Alex,” Lando tells him, “Anyway she wanted to know your most embarrassing story.”

Alex groans, but George notices he can’t keep the grin off his face. He’s looking at Jess with such happiness in his eyes and George can feel that horrible emptiness in his stomach again. He doesn’t understand it. He was surprised Alex wouldn’t tell him, sure, but it shouldn’t make him feel this unsettled and unhappy.

“Where did you guys meet?” George pipes up, wanting to do something to stop the looks between Jess and Alex.

Alex looks over at him. Inexplicably, the nerves are back in his expression.

Jess seems to have no such issues, “Online,” She says, “I messaged him on Insta.”

In his peripheral vision George sees Lando’s eyes bug out at that, and Alex is turning faintly pink again.

“We got chatting and then we met up and it was really great, so here we are,” She continues, before seeming to notice the expressions on the others faces, “It’s not like that, I’m not just a random weirdo stalker fan,” She laughs and it makes George cringe, “I’m an influencer on Insta so I _get it_. But we hit it off really well.” She looks at Alex for help.

“Yeah we did,” Alex’s voice is so soft, it sends a painful jolt through George’s stomach. _What was that?_ Alex is smiling at her again with love-struck eyes. George has the sudden urge to lunge over the table and get between them just to get rid of the expression.

_Why the hell did would I want to do that?_

George doesn’t leap over the table, instead he settles for a slightly more sane option, spitting out, “Not great though. Sounds like you just fancied having a connection with someone a lot more famous than you to help you get ahead.”

Lando turns to stare at him in amazement, his expression as if George has just sprouted tentacles, and Alex has a look of dumbstruck surprise on his face. George ignores them and keeps staring at Jess, still not sure where that came from. He’s not usually someone who is this openly confrontational with people he doesn’t know.

Alex opens his mouth to respond but Jess gets there first, “Wow, ok,” Her tone is now far from friendly, “Not even going to give me a chance. You’re Alex’s best friend, I thought you might give me at least five minutes to make a first impression. Loads of people meet online nowadays. Pretty sure I’ve got more followers than Alex anyway so you don’t have to worry about me using him.” There is an edge of steel in her voice.

George can’t stop the retort that he snaps back, “The fact that you even know that is a bit of a red flag. You’re probably just wanting to get pictures taken with Alex at the race tomorrow. Bet that would open up a whole new audience for you.”

“George, stop it,” Alex says sharply. He’s glaring now, arm wrapped protectively around Jess’ shoulder, “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

George can’t seem to stop himself, ignoring Alex and fuelled by the instinctive feeling in his gut that something is wrong here, the feeling he had immediately after Jess was introduced that is only getting stronger, “I’m only saying what we all know to be the truth,” He says through gritted teeth.

Jess scoffs at him, shaking her head, before turning to Alex, “I’m going to go, I’m obviously not welcome here,” She says hotly. She shrugs off Alex’s arm and gets up from the booth, grabbing her handbag, “It was nice to meet you, Lando,” She says, throwing him a brief smile. Then she turns on her heel and is walking speedily towards the door.

Alex looks at George with complete disbelief, “What the _fuck_ was that?” He hisses. George can’t find an answer to give him, he almost can’t believe it himself that he actually said all those things, and to someone he’d only just met. After a couple of seconds Alex gives up waiting for an answer, sliding out of the booth and hurrying after Jess. They’re both out of the door and out of sight within a few seconds.

George sits there, still feeling hollow, staring at the empty seat in front of him.

_What did I just do?_

“That was…that was out of line, mate.” Lando says, “You could have given her a chance. She seemed really nice when we were chatting by the counter.”

“Well what did he expect, he’s an F1 driver, she’s obviously after something if she just messaged him out of the blue,” George snaps, still not really sure why he feels so angry.

The waitress appears beside them carrying a tray with four meals and places them out on the table. She seems to notice that the atmosphere is a little tense so she doesn’t say much, scurrying away quickly when she’s done.

Lando waits until she’s out of earshot before he says, “Maybe. But she could just be a nice girl who likes Alex? You didn’t even give her a chance.” Lando sounds a little bit pissed with him now too. Neither of them are eating their cooked breakfast.

George just shakes his head angrily, “I’ve got to go.” He looks at Lando pointedly.

Lando is still looking at him like he’s lost his mind but he slides out of the booth to let George out.

George grabs his wallet out of his pocket and shoves a ten pound note on the table, unable to meet Lando’s bewildered expression, “See you later,” He grinds out before stalking out of the café.

****

George grabs a taxi back to the hotel he’s staying in, not in the mood to deal with being recognised walking down the street. It doesn’t happen too often yet, but he doesn’t want to risk snapping at a fan because of the foul mood he’s in. He fumes silently in the back of the taxi and when he reaches the hotel room he shuts the door behind him with much more force than necessary.

He paces up and down the room for at least half an hour before the sick angry feeling starts to subside and he can start to think straight again.

He sits down heavily on the bed and scrubs his hands over his face.

_What the hell was that? What did I just do?_

George puts his head in his hands. Why did he say all of that? Why did he get so angry? Maybe his concerns might have been valid, but he hadn’t even given her a chance, he’d had that horrible feeling in his stomach from the moment Alex said she was his girlfriend and it had made him want to lash out.

He needs to apologise to Alex. What he’d done wasn’t ok.

Alex’s hotel was only a couple of blocks walk away, he could nip over and apologise in person. But he knew Jess would be there. He would need to apologise to her too, but at that moment the thought of even seeing her was unbearable. Another wave of sickness floods through him. He takes a second to push it down, he’s worrying for nothing, Lando says she was nice and he has _no_ right to decide who Alex dates.

He grabs his phone from his pocket and sees he has a text from Lando.

**You’d better be apologising to Alex right now**

Sighing he quickly types back.

**Yeah, doing that right now. I’m sorry for storming off like that**

Lando’s text comes back within seconds.

**Glad you’re over your tantrum!**

George rolls his eyes, but really it’s not far off. He still can’t believe he reacted like that. Must be that he was just worried about Alex and didn’t handle it very well. He just needs to apologise and make it right.

He thinks about ringing Alex but he doesn’t think he’d pick up right now anyway. He’s also not sure that he trusts himself not to say anything else that’s completely stupid and out of line. He tries to type out a text a few times before settling on what to say and pressing send.

**I’m really sorry, that was out of line. I guess I just worry about you. That doesn’t make it ok, but I’m really sorry. And I’m really sorry to Jess too. I hope I can apologise in person tomorrow.**

He sits and waits, staring at the message and waiting for a reply. After a full five minutes he realises this is stupid and thinks he needs to do something to get his mind off it. Alex is probably, rightly, pissed at him. He’ll give him some time to cool off.

He has a team meeting and some training this afternoon, so he gets changed into his Williams gear, trying his best to not check the phone on the sideboard. There’s still nothing from Alex when he needs to leave to meet the team and he debates sending another text but decides against it. He spends the whole afternoon trying not to check the phone every five minutes.

He doesn’t end up getting back to the room until around nine o’clock and there’s still nothing from Alex. That means he’s really pissed off then. George will have to catch him at the airport and apologise in person. He can’t bear Alex being mad at him.

****

When George wakes up that morning to the chirping of his phone alarm and the memories of the previous day come back to him he’s still slightly baffled by how he reacted to meeting Jess. He pushes thoughts of that aside though as he packs up and gets ready to leave for the airport.

When he arrives he makes his way to the first class lounge. He knows that pretty much this whole flight is made up of team members from F1, and he’s on the same flight out as Lando and Alex. He looks around for the two of them as soon as he gets there and sees them sat on some comfy looking sofas in a corner, along with Jess.

He pushes down the twinge of anxiety he feels and heads straight over to them.

His greeting is cut off by the deadly glare Alex sends him, he’s never seen Alex look at anyone like that before, especially not him. For a second it catches him off guard and he can’t think of anything to say.

It’s clear that the other three aren’t going to speak first. Jess is giving him a very cool look and Lando looks like he wants to bolt away from this awkward situation, hiding a little behind his McLaren cap.

George finds his voice and says, “I just came over to say I’m really sorry for yesterday, it was completely out of order. Jess, I should have never said those things to you, it was really out of line. I hope you can forgive me and we can start over?”

Jess regards him for a second, glancing at Alex for just a second, “Yeah it definitely wasn’t great,” She agrees sarcastically. She takes a deep breath, looking as though she’s considering what to say next, “Well Alex always had nice things to say about you so I guess I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt.” She smiles slightly at him.

George releases a breath he didn’t know he was holding, “Thank you. I am really sorry. I…I’m really really sorry,” George knows he’s babbling, but he doesn’t know what else to say to make it right when you’ve insulted someone who is practically a stranger so harshly.

She nods, eyes on Alex again, who isn’t glaring quite as much now but still hasn’t said a word.

“Let’s start over,” She says, standing up and putting out her hand to shake, “Hi, I’m Jess.”

George smiles back politely, ignoring the painful feeling that still won’t go away. _What is that?_

“Nice to meet you I’m George,” He says, playing along.

She grins and says teasingly with a quirk of an eyebrow, “That wasn’t so hard was it.”

George finds himself chuckling slightly, shaking his head at her straightforward attitude and how easily she’s managing to shake off the horrible things he said. George thinks she must really like Alex to still be making the effort with him after that. He’s still aware that Alex is watching him, not saying a thing.

“Come on, Lando,” Jess says out of the blue, “Lets go get everyone a drink.”

Without waiting for his response she grabs his wrist and basically drags him away, leaving George stood over Alex. Obviously she’d wanted to give them a minute to talk, which George thinks was nice of her, if not very subtle. But now he’s standing over Alex, hands in his pockets, and he thinks he’s never felt more awkward around Alex in his entire life.

“I am really sorry,” George says again, meeting Alex’s eyes. He feels uncomfortable looking down at him so he takes the seat across from him.

Alex sighs, “Yeah I know. I got your text.” He doesn’t really sound ready to forgive him, “You want to stop saying sorry and explain what the hell that was yesterday?”

Alex is definitely not ready to forgive him.

“I just…” George struggles, he’s still not even completely sure why he said what he said, “I was surprised when you introduced her out of the blue. You’d never even _mentioned_ her…”

Alex cuts him off, “I was worried that you would think something like you said yesterday. Didn’t think you’d say it immediately after meeting her right to her face, mind.” Alex gives him another look, eyebrows raised, “I wanted to make sure it was something worth telling about first.”

“I’m sorry, it caught me off guard and I couldn’t help but worry about you. But, really, she seems nice. Lando said she seemed nice too.”

Alex seems to think for a moment before he nods, “Alright.” His tone doesn’t match what he’s said and he’s staring down at the floor.

There’s a silence before Alex continues, “What you said though. It’s like you don’t even think anyone could like me for anything more than my job. You’re supposed to be my friend and the minute I introduce you to my girlfriend you imply she’s only with me because I have a high profile job.” Alex glances up at him and George can see the hurt in his eyes, “Is that really all you think of me?” He asks quietly.

“I…” George’s voice catches, he’s not sure what he was going to say anyway because that is so far from the truth. He thinks Alex is amazing. He’s funny and always makes any day better, George feels lighter when he’s around Alex, when he hears him laugh, sees his smile. He’s an amazing racer and he handled moving to Red Bull on such short notice so well. He’s George’s best friend and he can’t quite figure out how to put into words how grateful he is to have Alex in his life.

“Of course it’s not,” He starts slowly, speaking quietly, “Alex, you’re my best mate. I…” There’s a lump in his throat at the thought that he’d made Alex feel like he wasn’t worthwhile with what he said yesterday, “I think you’re great, you know that,” Internally he’s screaming at himself at how inadequate that sounds. Why can’t he express how much Alex means to him? “I was honestly just worried about someone taking advantage of you. I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions so quickly.”

Alex stares for a second before accepting what he’s said, “Alright…But no more accusing her of things. She’s really nice and I really like her. I actually thought you guys would get along really well before yesterday…”

George tries to ignore the awful feeling in the pit of his stomach and smiles, “I hope she can forgive me and we can all be friends.”

“She is really great,” Alex says, watching her at the bar with Lando, both of them laughing about something.

It hits George in an instant, the feeling he couldn’t identify; he’s _jealous_.

Is he jealous of Alex having a girlfriend, does he want that for himself? Having someone that will look at him with that loving expression. He’s not thought about relationships much recently, with finally being in Formula One his career had been his first priority, enjoying finally making it somewhere he’d dreamed about for so long, focusing on doing the best he could to impress the people who could get him moved into a better team in a few years’ time. Is he jealous of the relationship?

He sees Alex still watching Jess with such fondness in his expression and the knot in his stomach twists again and he finally understands. He’s jealous that the person Alex is looking at like that isn’t _him_.

_Fuck._

Alex continues, completely blind to the fact that George is having an internal crisis, “You’re my best mate. I’d really like it if you two could get along.”

George is surprised he manages to get the words out normally when he feels like his whole world has been turned on its head.

“Yeah, of course.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you liked it so far. Comments and kudos are very much appreciated :)


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